Lies I Told Myself, and Other Truths by Nikki Soulsby

Author:Nikki Soulsby [Nikki Soulsby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Both of these are valid responses to your request and should be respected. However, they don’t have to be the final result.

If you got a “not right now” type of no, figure out if you can change something to make it a yes. Is it something you can control or something that has to change for the other person? For example: You found a dream home and you’ve managed to scrape enough money together for a down payment. You get preapproved for a loan. You tour the home and make an early offer. The homeowner knows that it’s a competitive market and holds out for other offers. You are asked for your best and highest offer by noon the following Monday. Then your agent calls to tell you that you were outbid. You lost the house. I understand how heartbreaking this scenario is, but it doesn’t mean you can’t ever have this house. It means you can’t have it right now. Your choices are to wait for the house to come back on the market or find a new house. Either way the loss isn’t permanent.

What about “it’s not for me” types of nos? Easy—just say “next.” Salespeople are familiar with this concept. Let’s say you’ve discovered a way to have floors clean themselves. We can all agree that if you never had to sweep, vacuum, or mop again it would improve your life. Even so, there will be people who don’t want that product. Maybe they secretly love pushing a vacuum around, maybe they like the smell of their floor cleaner, maybe they just don’t want to pay for your solution. Doesn’t matter. It’s not for them. Your business, product, opinions, preferences, creativity … these things will never be for everyone. That’s not a slight, it’s just the way it is. Instead of allowing rejection to crush you, just move on to someone else. I realize I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but not everyone has good taste.

The difference between a setback and defeat is what you choose to accept. You will likely still be disappointed by a rejection, but you don’t have to let it knock you out.

Here’s a list of things you should start asking for immediately:

Help. You don’t have to be a martyr and do everything yourself. Ask for help.

An exception. If things aren’t as you like them, order off the menu. Ask for an exception to be made. Ask to partner with them to develop something new.

What you want. You are allowed to have things the way you want them. Most of the time, we settle for less because we don’t want to inconvenience anyone else. That’s silly. What would make the situation better? Ask for that. It’s no trouble to get things right.

Feedback. Ask what you can do to improve. This one is hard because it’s natural to fear the answer. But again, what’s the worst that can happen? You can get better.

Favors. Ask for and expect favors. Someone will get the big client, the best parking spot, an invitation to the Grammys.

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